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In the crazy world in which we live, what can I do to actually be as supportive as I’m pretending to be? Don’t let some of the censure and targeting that may come your son’s way—however well-intentioned you believe yourself to be—start with his mother.I truly do want him to be happy but I’m not going to lie: I truly wish he were dating a female. A: Societal judgment against gay and bisexual people is very real, and you’re not doing anything wrong by acknowledging its power and worrying about the effect said judgment might have on your son. If you find yourself overwhelmed by doubts and panic, please get yourself to an LGBT-friendly therapist and/or the nearest PFLAG meeting, because you need an outlet or two for those fears, preferably an outlet that you didn’t give birth to.We bring together and enhance the work of our five state-based partner agencies, based in capital cities across Australia.If you’re looking to connect with someone to explore what’s going on in your life, QLife is a great place to start.The other thing you get to do is let go of your dream that your son will be happy in a heterosexual relationship.That’s not to say he may never settle down with a woman, or that he won’t ever be happy in a relationship, merely that whatever relationship your son is in will never be heterosexual by virtue of the fact that your son is not heterosexual.Whether you’re in a small town or a major city, there are other LGBT people near you. There’s nothing more affirming than having a group of LGBT friends, but if you’re struggling to meet people near you, try finding friends online.

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On the other hand, I really want him to be happy in a heterosexual relationship.

I know that the choice is his and his alone to make and I’m being supportive but societal judgment/gay-bashing/targeting IS real and I fear for his safety.

Mallory Ortberg, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers. (Sign up below to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week.

Read Prudie’s Slate columns Mallory Ortberg: I hope everyone is sufficiently rested and hydrated after Pride!

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