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Instead, what keeps this 27-year-old from approaching the cute girl across the room is a set of hypotheticals that most people don’t deal with.“My mind runs ahead to ‘the disclosure talk’ and then all the way down to, ‘What if we have sex and what if I give it to her?

’” said Peckham, an IT professional who lives in Austin, Texas.

But all the self-acceptance in the world doesn’t erase the fact that a herpes diagnosis creates ripple effects of shame and social isolation, and the fallout is especially pronounced when it comes to your dating life.“It’s good to have the conversation because there is a potential risk of transmission,” Cherrell Triplett, M.

D., an ob/gyn who practices at Southside OBGYN and Franciscan Alliance in Indianapolis, Indiana, tells SELF.

I know couples who have gone years without transmitting by being honest with each other about when they are having outbreaks.

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Sometimes the question is data-based, about what transmission statistics are real. When you ask me questions about if you should date someone with herpes, I know you’re looking for an expert opinion.

Sometimes the question is esoteric, about whether or not he truly knew this woman in the first place. You’ve never given herpes any serious thought before and here I am, a woman with herpes and a blog, who has so generously spilled her guts to the Internet about what it’s like.

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